Every year The Henley Fringe Festival brings a whole host of great theatre to the fancy pants Oxfordshire town which gave us posh stuff like Boris Johnson and regattas. There’s all sorts of grown up shows including comedy, drama and satire from emerging theatre companies, most working on very limited budgets. But grown up theatre is of no interest to us - it’s long and has difficult words in it.

So instead we got ourselves an invite to the Henley Rugby Club to watch a performance of FalconGrange Production’s adaptation of Ronda and David Armitage’s The Lighthouse Keeper’s Lunch.

A two man show starring Daniel Creasey as Mr Grinling and Yvie Magee as his wife (supported by violinist Carole Carpenter and a host of fantastic puppets), The Lighthouse Keeper’s Lunch follows the story of an always hungry Lighthouse Keeper and his wife’s attempts to stop seagulls from eating his lunch. The lunch, it should be noted, is sent via a line stretching from home to lighthouse, tempting seagulls with its airborne yumminess. Why Mr Grinling can’t take a lunchbox in the morning like a normal person we don’t know and neither do the kids seem to care.

With cushions and mats spread across the floor, kids are invited to get up close and personal with the performance, lazing on the same level as the actors as the performance takes place. While some of the audience merrily rolled and raced around the room others - Lil and Ted included - sat entranced by the story and the enthusiasm of the actors who really embraced their roles and kept up a level of energy which caused Mummy to feel slightly out of breath by the end even though she’d done little else other than sit quietly with a cup of coffee.

At little more than half an hour the show was the ideal length for small children - though advertised as being suitable for ages 3-8 much younger kids in the audience seemed to enjoy it with Ted (who never sits still) even managing to maintain interest - and both Magee and Creasey, veterans of the children’s theatre circuit, connected with their mini audience in a way which suggests that perhaps they haven’t yet forgotten what it’s like to be kids themselves. Can we keep them in our understairs cupboard to be brought out on difficult parenting days? Please?

www.falcongrange.com

We love, love, LOVE these amazing Flexibaths, ideal for parents short on space or just for camping and caravanning - well, it’s what all the kids are doing these days.

It looks cooler than any other ‘fold up’ bath on the market and is so much easier to use too, folding completely flat with one touch to be stored out of the way for next bath time.

With a non-slip surface for totally safe bathtimes, the Flexibath is a must for the new parent’s bathroom, making all other baby baths look…well, a little bit old fashioned and twee.

To win your very own Flexibath, worth £29.95, just email competitions@thetoddlerreview.co.uk with your name and address and the subject line ‘Bath Time!’ by 10th September 2010. Winners will be announced here following the closing date.

To find out more about Flexibath see www.flexibath.co.uk.

Random Daughter: ‘Suggs?’

Random Daddy: ‘Yep, Suggs. He’s great.’

Random Daughter: (scoffing) ‘Suggs! That’s more like a name for a turtle!’

This conversation, it should be noted, occurred not long after Suggs – the Suggs, actual real life Suggs, It-Must-Be-Love-Night-Boat-To-Cairo-Baggy-Trousers-Welcome-To-The-House-Of-Fun-dodobedobedo Suggs - walked past us in the queue for churros.

That’s the sort of festival Camp Bestival is. Suggs randomly walking around the crowd sucking down coconut milk while most of punters are more interested in little sticks of sugary dough.

It’s not that the crowd doesn’t appreciate Suggs but, in reality, the average Camp Bestivaler is either to old to do the screaming groupie thing or too young to realise that there’s any significance to a recognisable face.

Unless, of course, that face has a red nose and painted on freckles.

Yes, the biggest name on the Camp Besti bill is CBeebies sensation Mr Tumble. While kids gawped as he joined Saturday’s fancy dress parade thousands of mums fell to their knees and worshipped the only man who can keep their toddlers quiet for more than ten seconds and whom one misguided Toddler Review mummy (NOT ME) has even developed a crush on.

Mummy: ‘Oh my goodness Lil, if Mr Tumble comes out will you wet yourself? I might!’

Another Mummy: (excited) ‘Is he coming on now? Right now?’

Mummy: (enthusiastic nodding) ‘Yes, I think they’re about to get him out…’

Another Mummy: (wide eyed) ‘Get him out? Like they keep him in a box…’

(silence as both mummies contemplate the benefits of Tumble-in-a-Box)

Mr Tumble signed autographs, he smashed the Castle Stage with his Rock ‘n Roly Poly performance – which included a number of hit rock and roll songs, clown stylee and a good old custard pie session, all following an incredible entrance to the Space Odyssey theme, through smoke…on a trike with a comedy horn.

Although the Tumble was a great success, in The Toddler Review’s humble opinion The Gruffalo was less so. A Camp Bestival exclusive, the Castle Stage performance failed to hold Lillie and Ted’s attention. It was too drawn out, too drab and, unless you were one of the few located right up against the stage, near impossible to make out who was who and what was what. As Daddy pointed out ‘when they came on I thought they were stage hands’. The Gruffalo could learn a thing or two from Tumble about stage presence.

Perhaps surprisingly (though perhaps not given Mummy and Lillie’s obsession with them) the hit of the weekend for TTR, kids and ‘rents alike, was the awesome Friendly Fires. As ever the combination of glittery green drums, flamboyantly spastic dancing and the upbeat tracks that have been repeatedly blasted at our children’s ear holes for the last two years hit the spot. The ‘Fires never make a mistake and always get the crowd moving. Daddy was dubious to begin with, ‘will they ever play new songs?’ (yes), giving Mummy the opportunity to hoist rock chick Lil onto her shoulders and shimmy through the crowd to a stage-front spot.

Such is Camp Bestival that a four-year-old is perfectly safe up front, rocking out to Jump In The Pool (and we mean rocking out, Mummy’s shoulders have the ache to prove it) before finally collapsing in to a loud music induced sleep, finally satisfied that her soul reason for visiting Dorset has been fulfilled and she has danced with Ed McFarlane to her very favourite song in the whole widest world.

Mummy: ‘You’ll like him, he’s the only person in the world who dances better than you.’
Lillie: (furious) ‘WHAT?!’

When the music wrapped, after a hard weekend of eclectic weirdness – Chas off Chas n Dave, The Human League, Stornoway, the rather good newly discovered by Mummy and Daddy Wolf Gang, Mr Scruff, George Clinton and Funkadelic, Calvin Harris (Ted: (following Calvin Harris’s set) ‘I GET ALL THE GIRLS I GET ALL THE GIRLS I GET ALL THE GIRLS!’) – the fireworks kicked off in spectacular style, another famous Camp Bestival ending which makes you wonder why London didn’t ask Rob da Bank to sort the Millennium for them.

Mummy: ‘All I can think is that their insurance must be sky high…’
Daddy: ‘I know, and the man must be moving very quickly with his taper.’

While we had some niggles – the campsite was too rocky, too hilly, too sleeping on a slopey, the music line up, though featuring some crackers (uber funky George Clinton and the always amazing value Cuban Brothers) was almost too mainstream, too un-indie, making Sunday’s headliners a bizarre choice, the map was utter bobbins and the programme lacking info for a whopping tenner and, most notably, River Cottage’s mackerel bap was not windproof, resulting in Mummy’s long lusted after Hugh F-W snack being snatched away in a strong gust – Camp Bestival was in many ways the perfect family festival.

Combining music with talks (Daddy absorbed himself in a William Orbit chatette, Mummy waited patiently for a very late Hugh Fearnley Whatischops BEFORE the mackerel bap incident), dance, circus, fairground, theatre, extreme sports, art, fancy dress and what can safely be called the best festival food we’ve chowed, Camp Bestival is very obviously created with a certain type of family in mind. The addition of the Isle of Boden tent is testament to that. The site is absolutely beautiful, everybody from organisers to performers to festival goers is as friendly as they are smiling.

Most importantly the toilets are immaculate (for a festival) nearly the whole way through. It’s the insignificant but so important details like this that make it obvious that for organisers Rob da Bank and his wife Josie, Camp Bestival is a labour of love, something that they really enjoy. Rob and Josie aren’t in it for the money, they’ve created Camp Bestival because if they were going to a festival with their own kids (and TTR did spot them out in the throngs) this is the one they’d want to go to.

Daddy may have complained that ‘it’s so middle class it’s almost too safe,’ but I have a sneaking suspicion that we may be back next year. Especially if a certain roly-poly clown is topping the bill again.

*****

Daddy: ‘Who’s that doing a book signing?’

Mummy: ‘It’s Charlie Higson off the Fast Show. Do you think it’d be ok to ask him Charlie – potato – will – courgette – you – beetroot – sign – broccoli – my – mushroom – book – aubergine?

Daddy: ‘I think he’d love it.’

*****

Mummy: ‘Look Lil! Mr Tumble’s on!’

Lillie: ‘Is it time for Friendly Fires yet?’

*****

Daddy: (after a long disappearance) ‘I don’t mind Calvin Harris but I couldn’t stand all the Mum Dancing.’

*****

Daddy: ‘what was your favourite thing at the festival Ted? Mr Tumble? The Gruffalo? The food? The dancing?’

Ted: ‘BIG WHEEL!’

Daddy: ‘One hundred and fifty five quid per person and he likes the big bloody wheel.’

Rain or shine, these are the events we’ll be donning our IdaT raincoats for (we’ve plugged them before and we’ll plug them again: for IdaT and our other favourite funky kids clothes www.nordickids.co.uk) …

Camp Bestival, Dorset
www.campbestival.co.uk
30 July – 1 August 2010
weekend tickets £155 with camping
For the past few years the Toddlers’ summer has been all about Latitude Festival. But this year due to several issues (mainly revolving around Mummy’s inability to be within 100ft of Florence & The Machine without turning in to The Hulk) we’ve dumped Latitude in favour of Camp Bestival.

We’ve long been fans of Bestival but, in all honesty, have found it a bit much with kids in tow – beginning with the tale of Ted very nearly crowning during a Beastie Boys set 150 miles from the hospital and ending with Lillie stuck waist high in mud. So Camp Bestival promises to be a very pleasing alternative.

For while Mummy and Daddy are rather thrilled at the prospect of Friendly Fires, Madness, Funkadelic and The Fall, Mr Scruff and DJ Yoda, they are well aware that the true headliners of this happy gathering at the beautiful Lulworth Castle will be a chubby sign-language friendly clown and an imaginary monster with a poisonous wart on the end of his nose.

Yup, keep calm folks, Mr Tumble and the Gruffalo are indeed in residence.

Elsewhere Hugh Fearnley Whatischops (The River Cottage Family Cookbook – BUY IT!) is serving up food, there’s acrobats doing highwire stunts, there’s balloon animals, there’s dressing up, there’s cupcakes, there’s…well, let’s just say that for a certain four year old girl, Camp Bestival is heaven. Meanwhile Mummy friendly concepts such as hot showers, camping pitches less than 50m from your car, a WI tea tent, boutique babysitting and on-site pampering treatments are just a few of the fab ideas which make Camp Bestival the UK’s best family-friendly festi.

Standon Calling, Hertfordshire
www.standoncalling.co.uk
6-8 August 2010
weekend tickets £95 with camping
Last year’s last minute visit to Standon Calling was a great success – so much so that TTR are going back for more. We love the friendly vibe of this tiny festival hidden away in the rolling countryside of Hertfordshire. We love the little known acts which make up the majority of the muso-friendly line up (last year’s favourites including the awesome Josh Weller, please check him and his amazing gravity defying hair out). We love the spacious site with its two minute walk from tent to stage, it’s eco-loos and the tree-bar.

This year TTR are planning to get stuck in to the Murder on the Standon Express theme with costumes galore while also checking out tunes from the Buena Vista Social Club, Efterklang and Liars, get involved in interactive theatre, watch a cult movie and even do a little shopping at the fab boutiques setting up camp on site (although Mummy will be leaving the kids outside while she raids the retro lingerie in the wonderful What Katie Did, (see www.whatkatiedid.com) because Ted likes to wear bras as hats and shout ‘BOOBS!’.

In short Standon Calling is the ultimate back garden party, somewhere to chill out, make friends and let the kids run riot. This year’s addition of the The Little Den with its beatboxing workshops, Mr Reggae nursery rhymes, Punch and Judy show and the lovely Emma Kennedy reading from her murder mystery book series, promises to up the family friendly stakes and help mould proper rock ‘n’ roll toddlers too.

The Festival of History, Northamptonshire
www.englishheritage.org.uk
17-18 July 2010
weekend tickets £15.50 for adults, £8.50 children
It would be easy to call us biased, after all The Festival of History boasts the very useful advantage of being a five minute drive from the home of TTR, Market Harborough. But, truly, it really is a fantastic, curious-kid-friendly event worth travelling beyond the end of your road for.

Organised by English Heritage, The Festival of History takes place in the beautiful grounds of Kelmarsh Hall and combines education with a fun day out. There’s plenty of those funny blokes who like dressing up as soldiers recreating battles, but there’s also ‘encampments’ which give an insight in to life through the ages (promising lots of questions from young children confused about why the Saxons didn’t have ovens etc), aerial displays, jousting, food, fairground rides and loads of other stuff to boot.

Proper good, clean fun organised carefully to ensure that your day out is as action packed or as leisurely as you want it to be, The Festival of History will thrill children of all ages. (but remember your ear protectors for those artillery demos, from www.peltorkids.co.uk).

Kew Gardens Summer Festival, London
www.kew.org
until 5 September 2010
tickets £13.50, children free
Kew Gardens remains one of Britain’s most beautiful places, at least according to Mummy, who likes flowers and whatnot. And while Kew is somewhere you can go to simply laze the day away when kids are involved it’s best to have something to keep them occupied.

The great thing about the Kew Gardens team, y’see, is that they’ve recognised that it’s all about the little buggers so not only do they let them in for free – that’s right, F-R-E-E – but they’ve laid on a whole load of stuff which will fascinate them. First on our list is the PLANTastic Play Area which is pitched as an ‘interactive landscape’. So, in baby-brain terms, it’s a clever way to get kids to learn things while getting mucky crawling about on their hands and knees through ‘roots’, flying on a zip wire like a bee and climbing up totem poles shaped like mushrooms. Good-o.

Elsewhere the Prince of Wales Conservatory hosts much more than wicker furniture with its admittedly pretty awesome Butterflies, Bugs and Beasties display. Lil-style girls will adore the exotic butterflies fluttering around them while ultimate-boys like Ted will no doubt get rather excited about the less savoury bugs. Yum.

Toy Story 3, Nationwide
www.disney.co.uk/toystory3
opens 23 July 2010
Yes, we know that Shrek’s got a new one out too but you just can’t beat Buzz. Even if he did snub Daddy at Disneyland Paris.

Despite being around ten years old now the Toy Story franchise is still a huge hit with kids and the threat of ‘if you don’t sleep I’ll put your Buzz Lightyear in the bin’ still works with Ted. The added bonus is that Toy Story is as much a hit with adults as it is with chilblains, so Mummy and Daddy are eagerly awaiting it while debating ‘Who’s The Best Toy Story Character? Rex the Dinosaur v Mr Potato Head.’

Melton Monkeys, Leicestershire
www.pif.org.uk
every Tuesday 9:30am-3:30pm
£3 per child, £2.50 for each additional child
I shan’t lie to you, Melton Monkeys is a local initiative run by our friend Noah’s mummy. But who can argue with something that keeps the horrors entertained for almost the entire day for three quid?

Based in Melton’s Penman Spicer Hall (we know, limited readership in Melton Mowbray but, come on, it’s the home of the pork pie! The place deserves some love), Melton Monkeys has a truckload of gear on hand to entertain your smalls with plus the all important tea and coffee making facilities and loads of good, healthy snacks and drinks for the little’uns paid for honesty box style. But you’re welcome to bring your own food too if you’re strapped for pennies – it’s a small thing but as most parents know the whole ‘only food bought here to be consumed in this area’ rule stinks like Ted’s nappy.

We’re just waiting for the Market Harborough branch now…come along Noah’s mum!

lil: munch munch MUNCH!
ted: lollipop-num-nummmm
daddy: TED, STOP LICKING THE MICROPHONE

Approximately three weeks ago the toddler review embarked on a musical journey inspired by Eric Carle’s The Very Hungry Caterpillar.

Despite numerous diva-like toddler tantrums, creative differences and various attempts to eat musical equipment, the extended mp3 mix is finally AVAILABLE TO DOWNLOAD HERE for your listening pleasure … all 7 minutes of it. For best results, paint your face green, don a pair of deely boppers and squirm around on your stomach.

Composed exclusively by man vs moustache for the nunu nursery float at this year’s Market Harborough Carnival (Saturday 12th June 2010) and featuring legendary MC’s LiL vs TeD, it promises to be this years must have summer track.

MUNCH MUNCH MUNCH!

When your beloved offspring, or indeed your beloved offspring’s offspring decide that they would like to be a world champion formula one racing driver you don’t start them off in a Maclaren - that would be stupid; and very expensive; and they would probably crash.
Lewis Hamilton started off on something much slower, far more stable and with a very low centre of gravity, a go-kart.

And so when Lillie finally decided that she was going to become an equestrian champion during her visit to The Granwas’ house in deepest Exmoor we thought that there was little likelihood that she could control a thoroughbred show jumper and decided, therefore that she should start on something smaller, slower and with a lower centre of gravity. A Shetland Pony.
Lillie’s visit was quite short and in true Exmoor fashion it rained. In fact it rained pretty much non-stop for the three days of her visit. So the open-top bus trip to Lynmouth via Porlock Hill (wow!!) was binned, as was the visit to the beach, and pretty much everything else that required us to venture outside.
But horse riding was a mission that had to be accomplished and so, in a brief (ish) bright spell, Little Granwa (why are we called Big and Little Granwa? It’s a long and boring story, and I can’t be bothered to tell it!) phoned the Exmoor Falconry Centre just down the road in beautiful Bossington to arrange a ride for Lillie on one of their ponies.

Twenty minutes later Lillie was perched on the back of a spherical but well balanced (it had a leg at each corner) Shetland Pony called Dula, wearing an improbably large riding hat and looking very much like something out of a Thelwell book.

Fifteen quid got Lillie a half hour led ride from the Centre through Bossington and back again and she enjoyed every single minute of it, unlike her mum who did something similar some twenty five years earlier and fell off – but she wasn’t on a Shetland Pony*.

So if your child wants to be Lewis Hamilton get a go-kart, if you want to be a famous horsey-type person (Zara Phillips rather than Jordan perhaps - Mummy) get on a Shetland pony. And if you’re in the West Somerset, Exmoor area and fancy equestrian go-karting visit the Exmoor Falconry Centre. They have birds too…and alpacas and larger ponies and very nice teas. In fact it’s a very nice place to spend a couple of hours.

Big Granwa x

For more information see www.exmoorfalconry.co.uk

*Mummy would like to point out that when she fell off a horse it was a GIANT. A SHIRE HORSE no less (possibly, big anyway) and that she hurt her bottom on a sharp stone when she fell. In front of everyone. At a gymkhana. Big Granwa didn’t even make up for it by buying her a more reasonably sized pony.

As I outlined my plans for a pre-Easter break with the TTR crew to family and acquaintances, reactions were mixed…
My mother: “You’re mad.”
My child-free friends: “You’re mad.”
My friends with children: “YOU’RE MAD.”
My boss: “Er, it doesn’t sound like much of a holiday, does it?”
OK, so I lied about the reactions being mixed.

The negativity got to me, in the end, so it’s fair to say that as our car splashed through the relentless Welsh rain, I was regarding the week as a trial by ordeal (water, naturally) rather than a holiday.
But I had a secret weapon, had I only known it.

The House
Four Seasons is in Plwmp, West Wales.
To be exact – and after a couple of sploshy walks round the local lanes, I can be – it’s probably about ten per cent of Plwmp. There’s one small store (manned by Bill, who receives about ten – deserved - recommendations in the Four Seasons visitor book for friendliness) and, er, some houses.
But I doubt that many of them are quite like this one.

Upstairs…
The six bedrooms mean that, with judicious placement (AKA the Which Kids are Most Likely to Wake Each Other Up? Right, Keep Them Apart Then game), no parent had to suffer the horrors of sharing with their child.

…Downstairs
So far, so good. But downstairs was even better:
An entrance hall big enough to take 11 sets of coats, shoes, wellies and bags, plus the children’s toys meant that we adults could spend each evening pretending we could still stay up late carousing (a theory disproved at six-ish every single morning, as the toddler pack woke up and began to maraud).
The living room was large enough to accommodate everyone without feeling crowded, the sofas were both comfortable (most of us over 5s napped on one at some point) and being leather, wipe-clean.

We all loved the kitchen, which had a brilliant central island unit to sit and gossip at whilst that evening’s dinner preparer went about their task of adding icing sugar to pigeon, Greek-ing up some chicken or heating yet another can of beans, all the equipment you could reasonably ask for (except for properly sharp knives), high stools (much beloved of the lemming-like toddler posse) and led on to a bright dining area seating 12 and overlooking the garden.

Speaking of which, outdoor space might have been somewhat limited – though beyond the garden were views to the sea not to mention the fact of the endless beaches and wilderness for stomping around on away from Plwmp – but the games room (darts board, mini-football, a pool/air hockey table), full-size sauna and divine hot tub, much appreciated by the three mummies (With wine? Us? Absolutely not. Hic…) were far more necessary as far as the adults were concerned.

Out and about
We did drag ourselves away to do some exploring of the countryside – top recommendation goes to New Quay, which has two lovely, sheltered beaches complete with rockpools (and a freezing cold sea to fall in to as Lillie discovered) plus the best café in Wales, the Bosun’s Locker; I would happily do the five-hour drive tomorrow for another slice of the cheesecake.

Even the slight disappointments had something to recommend them (the somewhat under-animaled Cardigan Island Farm Park, which told us apologetically that they’d been unable to get their wallaby back in time for reopening – cue much TTR speculation as to where on earth it had been all winter).

On the whole though, most of our time was spent lounging around at ‘home’, watching toddlers hurtle or laughing at two-year-olds’ attempts to play Wii Just Dance. So comfortable was the house and so thoroughly wet the weather it wasn’t even a strain to do so and cabin fever was at a minimum in the spacious house which was big enough to cause a miniature Bear Grylls-style expedition if one’s husband or wife ran off to catch a sneaky 40 winks in a hidden corner without prior warning.

A return is definitely on the cards for next year. Now we just need to train all five kids to not fall out of bed in the wee small hours…

Luke’s Mummy x

TTR booked their break through Hoseasons staying for 7 nights at a cost of around £280 per family (a total of approx £850)

Lil: ‘are we sending this to Elliott then?’
Mummy: ‘yes, to Elliott’s Mummy.’
Lil: *disbelieving* ’she won’t fit in that!’

Well, what impeccable timing that my fellow mummy friend Laura gave me the Carramio baby carrier from child safety company Clippasafe to try out. Zach is eight months old and our weekdays consist mainly of trekking to and from nursery to take or pick up my three year old, Elliott.

The first day that the snow fell might have brought excitement to most but it was not a good day for mums with pushchairs - many of us were fighting the increasingly deep snow, getting wheels completely wedged at the most inappropriate moments (in the middle of the road with the No 34 fast approaching for example). So, when I got home I desperately dug out the Carramio, put it on and adjusted the straps to fit me and the little one, armed and ready for my return trip.

Designed for babies 7lb 11oz to 19lb 13oz, the Carramio meets European safety standards and can be worn with baby facing in to you (for bonding in the first few months) and away, when the rest of the world becomes more interesting than Mummy and Daddy’s faces. The soft fabric lining is designed to keep baby cool, not a must in the snow but useful when the mercury rises above zero, and a detachable, machine washable bib catches the usual baby emissions.

What a godsend, I really wish I’d had it sooner! Even though Zach feels a hefty lump to carry in my arms, he really didn’t feel heavy in this. The support around the back and shoulders is great and very comfortable to wear. It was easy to put him in by myself which was my main concern, and as we set off up the road with the snow falling, I could hear him giggling…

Elliott & Zach’s Mummy x

Tabs: “Mmm! I love the smell in here!”

An encouraging reaction from my daughter, as we walked from the dark and wet street into Terre à Terre. It was 5pm: I’d come straight from a long day in front of a computer screen at work; my husband had picked up Tabs, aged 5, from school, and ferried her through the puddles to our dinner date.

At a time when we’re more likely to be found watching a bit of CBeebies and starting the wind-down before bath, it felt rather decadent to be entering a dimly-lit restaurant with a somewhat grown-up ambience.
Brighton is a city renowned for its tolerance of liberal lifestyles, and there are a thousand eateries catering for the associated diets – but even against this background, Terre à Terre is an exceptional vegetarian restaurant. We’re talking Michelin plaudits, AA rosettes and an Observer Food award.

So how would a restaurant best known for its daring combinations of foods many of us may never have heard of, let alone feel confident pronouncing, do when it came to catering for kids? While an adventurous ten-year-old may well enjoy the novelty, we all know that when you are five, anything but the usual staples is going to get short shrift.
Terre à Terre seems sensibly aware of this conundrum. The kids’ menu has familiar foods like poached egg on toast (£3.50) and pasta (with a choice of pesto, tomato or cheese sauce - £3.85), but also offers smoky fried tamari tofu (£2.00) and batter-fried haloumi (£4.00), plus chips sprinkled with ‘bang bang spice dust’ (£2.75) for those audacious kids who want to emulate their adult companions.
Meanwhile, the adults also have the choice of the comfortingly familiar (rosti with poached egg and spinach, £13.95) and the daring dishes the restaurant is best known for. Consider, for example, the Saltimbocca (£13.95): “mushroom duxelles-encased parmesan polenta sausages, wrapped in
tomato paper, seared and served with British brassica, fennel butter, roast parsley barley water and big red sauce”.

The lights were low, a full wine list was available, and the place was making its nightly transition from daytime eatery to evening restaurant. And yet, we felt completely comfortable dining with a young child who, to be completely honest, was not displaying the most impeccable table manners.
This was eased by the sparky waiters, who addressed Tabs direct to ask what she would like, and enthusiastically chatted to her about Toy Story. Giving her chips “10 out of 10″, she almost bust a gut laughing when the waiter suggested “11 out of 10″ instead.

With a ground-floor changing room/loo, wide aisles for prams, and a free pack of ‘wikky sticks’ (a kind of bendy, sticky pipecleaner) for young diners, Terre à Terre sealed the deal: I’m convinced they can boast of being ‘family friendly’ while still adhering to all the sophisticated extras that make them a top-class adult destination too.

Tabs’ Mummy x

Ted: ‘More wiggly worms!’

Pre-Christmas: Mummy, Daddy, Lillie and Ted spent a rainy Sunday morning combing Birmingham’s second hand shops for cheesy apres-ski wear in preparation for Alpine Fest, the annual TTR Christmas party. Finding their tummies rumbling and their clothes soggy they decided to pop in to one of the Bullring’s many eateries. “Pizza or noodles?” asked Daddy. It came as something of a surprise to find that both children were set on noodles. It shouldn’t really be a shock that children who prefer apples to biscuits and eat olives as snacks should choose Japanese over salad bars and stuffed crust but there you have it.

Wagamama has long been a Toddler Review standard. We often meet Auntie Em there (she’s fussier than most three year olds) before hitting Selfridges and Mummy has always liked that noodle-y goodness almost as much as Daddy likes the word ‘noodle’ (his favourite word as anyone who knows him will be aware).

There are several things that we like about Wagamama. First, there’s plenty of high chairs - we don’t need them now but back in the day it was often the case that we would go to a restaurant and ask for one only to have an old plastic contraption complete with tray (so Ted can sit across the room from us, right?) dusted off for the occasion of feeding our children. Second, the children’s menu is actually good and doesn’t seem to be an afterthought.

This Bullring branch specifically has excellent buggy access with a lift to the lowered dining room and space to store several prams without taking them down (which means you can leave shopping bags too) and a baby changing room on the ground floor, which means no stairs with a baby under one arm and a changebag under the other. These things matter. Menus come with crayons for colouring, kids get freshly squeezed juice with their meals and an ice lolly or ice cream for afterwards too plus there are child-friendly chopsticks which Lillie loved trying out and even managed to get a few scoops of food in to her mouth with.

It’s always important when dining with impatient kids that service is quick and, more often than not, it is here although on this occasion it was difficult to catch our waitress’s eye when we needed another drink for the kids. But a few weekends before Christmas and with a full dining room you can’t blame the staff if they’re rushed off their feet. The other issue with Wagamama - and this is a nationwide one - is that dishes are brought to you as they’re ready. Not a problem for most of us but a major issue for a starving Ted who received his chicken katsu five or ten minutes after the rest of us were served.

Overall though, we love Wagamama for offering something out of the ordinary for family dining, the canteen styling is lively and exciting for smalls and the food doesn’t make babies of little diners but allows them to try unusual flavours which they might not normally experience at home.

*RATINGS COMING SOON*

Mummy x